Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The broken arrow.

Growing up with a broken family made me the pessimist that I am now.

I watched how my family fell apart, how my mum and dad stopped loving each other in front of my eyes. Since then, I stopped believing in forever and love. The idea of being in love forever ever after never seemed appealing to me and I would avoid hearing wedding speeches just ‘cause in my heart, I knew love couldn’t last until forever. To me, it was always never.

But things changed after I met this one boy, he changed my perspective of love and passion.. I knew I was falling in love, and I fell fast and hard for him. I was seventeen when I had my taste of first love. For the first few months, we had a hard time and it was because of me.. the walls that I’d built to prevent myself from getting hurt was hurting him but after seeing his patience, the walls came crashing down and then it hit me, “Is this the forever and love that people were talking about?”. With him, everything was easy. He made things easy for me.

He wasn’t my first boyfriend but he was definitely my first love.

Not every story has its happy ending…

Things between us changed and after losing each other, I stopped believing in love and forever again. He has this huge impact in my life and he is this heartache that I can never be able to forget.

I don’t care how bad our fight ended but he made me believe in love, he made me believe that it exists eventhough it wasn’t long but still, having that priviledge of feeling butterflies in your tummy before going out with that one particular person is one of the most blissful feelings in the world.