Sunday, July 31, 2011

I'm 5' 6".

"I've been following my heart for too long, I should start listening to my head"

The weather fits my mood perfectly. There is some melancholy in the wind and rain tonight that somehow made me half glad that I overslept this evening. I was hoping to get a fleeting glimpse of sun today. I am supposed to be studying but I am on my bed, with laptop on my lap and my cats purring by my side.


I love how beautiful things are looking right now; as if nothing can make this contentment go away. It's like everywhere I go, the sun shines so bright. Every flower blooms and dances along with the grass. It feels like I just got my golden ticket to eternal happiness which worries me.

Because like people always say, every good thing must come to an end.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I need

  • Mint green skinny jeans.
  • Washed blue jeans.
  • Fuchsia colored top.
If I come back today with everything that, I will sell all of my clothes. Anyways, I will be selling some of my clothes at minimum price...

The reasons why I'll be selling it are:-
  1. I got bored right after buying it.
  2. Trying to change my color palette.
The clothes were either worn once/twice or never at all (attached with price tags).

Monday, July 18, 2011

you never meant to make me feel this way.

first and foremost, i know i will regret posting this but i need to vent it out here.

i know that you probably think that you know what's best for me but you ought to know that the life that you're deciding for belongs to me. have you noticed when it comes to my life, you never ask me what i want for myself? in lieu to that, you ask others what am i capable of. of course they'd give you the answer that you'd want to hear. don't you know that they are only sugarcoating the truth about me?

i know what i am capable of and what i am not capable of so, i know what i can and cannot do. my opinion matters. eventhough i'm much younger than you, you should know that what i think still matters.

you always believe the worst in me and it's really unfair when i don't get to prove myself that i'm better than that. i can see that you're never proud of me, most of the times. i'm sorry i'm not the person that you wanted me to be but please know how hard i tried to be that person and you saw how many times i failed.

there are times i wish i could just leave everything and disappear just to see how much my presence matters to you because from your reaction, you only show how much of a burden i am. lately, you can find me talking back when you say something and you wanna know why? i'm tired of admitting something that i did not do or something that you just throw accusations without checking your statement.

despite of all that, i love you with all my heart.

no matter what.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Such a beautiful lie to believe in.

Every time I hear someone laughing anywhere near me, I automatically think that they are laughing at me.

Isn't that a sad way to think?

c'est la vie.

it's a pretty cozy night for me; with hot cocoa on my reading table, in my favorite black sweater and good music.

it's safe to say that 2011 has been treating me so good and it sort of changed my perspective in life, whether it is good/bad. either way, i wouldn't be here. i made an oath earlier this year to not let anything break me, pretty unorthodox, i'd say but hey, at least i'm still living and not to mention that i'm happy. :)

i still remember my ceaseless amount of downfalls that i had last year and it wasn't a picturesque sight. the only part that i loved would be the amount of people who were there for me.

come to think of it, i'm quite proud of who i've become this year;

but there's one thing that i'd love to change though and it'd be the amount of people that i've pushed this year. the number ain't pretty but i'm making amends with those people, eventhough some of them completely turned me down. but hey, at least i know who can accept these flaws of mine that i would like to get rid of, please?

Sunday, July 10, 2011

lollipops turn into cigarettes. the innocent ones turn into sluts.
homework goes in the trash. mobile phones are being used in class.
detention becomes suspensions. soda becomes vodka.
bikes become cars. kisses turn into sex.
remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
when protection meant wearing a helmet?
when the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?
dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero.
your worst enemies were your siblings.
race issues were about who ran the fastest. war was only a card game.
and the only drug you knew was cough medicine.
when wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut.
the most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

and we couldn't wait to grow up.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

things i need to do

  • laundry
  • buy urbanscapes ticket
  • organize my closet
  • color my hair
  • go to tailor
  • stock up food
  • find ways to get world stage ticket
  • spend time with my girls
  • prepare for finals
funny how the most important thing is at the bottom of the list.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Dear hair

Dear hair,

There are so many things that I love about you; one of it would be you grow oh so fast and cutting you is not much a problem. Thank you for actually behaving.

I want you to stay healthy even though the amount of heat abuse that you've been putting through with me isn't going to make you recuperate easily but please, stay healthy because the split ends that you've been showing saddens me.

Even though there are times where I just curse at you for not behaving, blame the fringe.. Or the parting but you have to know how much I deeply love you.

Anyways, wouldn't it be nice for you to mutate to a different color or my original color because honestly, it's a tad too light for my skin. I know it's something that you can't naturally do but at least, try. In addition to that, please stay shiny and bouncy if you don't want me to abuse you with blow dryer and hair iron.

But yes, hair. I love you, I will never do anything that'd hurt you.

p/s: I've thrown away your worst enemy, the curling iron because I saw the split ends that you've been showing. That's the reason why I got a haircut, hair. I'm sorry.

Friday, July 01, 2011

Legit little July

I solemnly swear to myself that I won't write heavyhearted posts anymore because from what I remember, one of my new year's resolutions would be no more any of that nonsense. But hey, compared to last year.. I think I did a pretty okay job. (Yeap, I did highlight the 'TRY' part) Last year, mummy called me emo-bear.

It's July.

I can't believe that I am done with half of 2011. Come to think of it.. This year is not as exciting as last year but truthfully, on my love life.. I can say that I'm finally playing my cards right ;) Let's just hope things stay this way for as long as it can.


Tonight, I will be on a heavy dose of 90's music.

and I just realized that my wardrobe consists of black, white, gray, blue.. Therefore, shopping spree this weekend. (Guna lah excuse macam tu untuk sedapkan hati)

Didn't work.