Saturday, April 21, 2012

Heartbreak 1.0

For all my life, I've known myself as a fighter. I don't give up often, I don't really like settling for less. For all my life, I will always fight for something until life gives me a reason not to.

When it comes to love, I rarely give up. I am (or was) always the one who tries to fight for the relationship; despite whether it was hurting me or not. For all my life, I find it easy for me to like someone but to love a person, it's by far the hardest to do. When I love a person, I will love that person with all my heart, without a doubt.

But recently, my little piece of heaven has crumbled down.

Maybe I've been fighting for it for way too long.

But he never really saw my effort of trying to save the relationship; just because I rarely show my feelings.

Sad isn't it? Because I fell really hard for him. I rarely write about him but this time around, it's different because he's not trying to make things better.

What a perfect April.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Two One.

It's the sixteenth and I have seven more days to go til I turn twenty-one. To be honest, it scares me a little. I know how some people say that 'Age is just a number'. Well, yeah. 'Jail is just a room'. 

It feels like I'm leaving behind a huge part of me; the carefree part. That one part in your that keeps you so alive. I know I may sound dramatic here but even turning 20 was an emotional phase for me because I have this one problem of letting go. I always hold onto things for so long. 

So I hereby will bid adieu to (some) parts that I should leave behind, for good.

Dear past,

I wish for you to never tap on my shoulder anymore because looking back, hurts. At my weakest, I begin to look back and mourn over the things that used to make me happy. I used to love looking at you because you have those familiar faces that I used to share everything with. The people who made me happy. You reminded me of my happy days when I was with them. I can't keep looking back. I have to bid adieu to you because grieving over you will not do any good to my future.

This year; whatever happens, happens.