Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The only reason why I am closing down this blog or probably reverting it to some place else is because I hate the url. I hate how sappy it sounds, I hate how broken it sounds. Because when I created this, I wasn't happy. I was from a broken place and without thinking, I created this one sad url.

You can find me here, for the time being.

As for now, I'm busy with my uni event and I am in my final year now. So, I do not have the time to be sad. :)

Be happy, readers. Be happy!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Paulo Coelho'

From Paulo Coelho :

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.

You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister. Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Shattered - OAR

How many times can I break til I shatter?

Our relationship was based on broken promises and unsettled businesses. Somewhere along the line, I got hurt really bad.

I got hurt when you decided to promise the things you can't keep.
I got hurt while waiting for you.
I got hurt while loving you too much.
I got hurt while putting you first, above myself.

You see, I threw too many chances and you, being you. You took those chances for granted, you took my presence for granted.

Don't call me your muse, your drive, your inspiration to be a better man because you and I both know that that statement is far from true. I can't change you. In fact, I shouldn't even try to change you. You should know which is good, which is bad. You know those sleepless nights that I used to have while waiting for you to come back home? It got lost while you were too busy ignoring the person who loved you. I will never be the same person, again. That person that you used to whisper 'I love you', the person that you used to go for midnight drive with.. She's gone, she's long gone.

I want to have my peace, I want to have my time.

Most of all, I just want to forget those nights I cried. Those nights I couldn't sleep because your phone was off. Those nights when you hurt me and ignored my pain. I want to forget that.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

8th May 2012

I met you when I was merely twenty; both so young and was too caught up by our naivete.

We were almost kids, we thought we'd be into this relationship where commitment wouldn't be important, where it would be all fun and games. The kind of relationship that we both thought we signed up for.

Little did we know, it got too serious.. It got too serious until you said to me that you're not ready for this kind of relationship and I, too wasn't ready. We tried to end things but did we succeed? No. Because I was in love with him. I loved him too much; his happiness was mine and mine was his. I couldn't stand the idea of him being hurt. I really loved him. Well, I still do.

We ended things, today. Not sure if it's for good or not but I told him I've given up on this relationship because I realized in the pursuit of making him happy, I got hurt. Holding back is the toughest when you still have strong feelings for that person but god knows how much I miss him.

And god knows why I decided to write like this, again. After I've solemnly sworn to myself that I'd never write this anymore.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Month by month.

January broke me into pieces.

February is never good.

March was a surprise.

April made me happy and sad.

May taught me to remember, and to let go.

June was made up of favorites. Old and new.

July slipped away from me.

August had me holding on tight.

September pushed and shoved me away.

October was a mess.

November was a blur.

December left me reckless and restless.