Sunday, August 11, 2013

11th August 2013

This Is How Love Starts

He could be someone you meet at a party. He could be someone from your circle of friends. He could also be someone you have known all your life. At first, he only notices your existence before the two of you start switching glances. And then, phone numbers. Every time his name appears on your phone, you get this crazy butterflies in your tummy, like it just had eaten ten tonnes of candies. From texting every now and then, it will turn to being on the phone with that person almost every night.

This Is How You Fall In Love

Instead of telling each other about your daily routines, you start telling him your secrets and he starts showing how much he cares about you, about your thoughts that you carry every day. His concern about you makes you feel you are important to him. At least that is what you think. At this point, you do not have to wonder if he is going to call you because, without a doubt, you know he will. And at this very point, he would be there for you, no matter what. He would do anything to make sure you know you are precious to him.

This Is How You Lose Her

After a while, your daily 'good morning' text seems to be non-existent. He does not call you when you argue. Those random phone calls, text messages just stop coming for you. Instead of wishing him goodnight, you wish for him to be like the guy that made you fall for him. He just stops doing the things that made you love him.

This Is How Love Ends

Your butterflies in your tummy will turn into a flesh eating disease.. instead of smiling each time you receive a call for him, you cry wishing for him to send you a text. Instead of talking to him, you start talking to other people.

At this point, your feelings are non-existent to him. You are no longer his precious. You just don't worth his minutes anymore.

This happens to a lot of people that I know. Myself, included. Boys just stop doing the things they did it took to get you because to them, relationship needs to be very chill.

To me, endless amount of effort should be included in a relationship.

I am just that heartbroken.

Sunday, May 05, 2013




"You don't talk anymore"

"I do"

"You refused to talk to S"

"It's because he only finds me when he has problems with his girlfriend, same goes with some of my other friends"

"What do you mean?"

"I always find them contacting me when they got problems on their shoulder. Other than that, I just don't exist. Look, I have friends who only come to me when they have problems. They would cry on the phone and spend hours talking to me and when they are okay with their significant other, they just fucking vanish. So please don't expect me to sympathetic the next time they have problems."

"They do that to you?"

"Not all, just some but it's sad to see 'some' of those friends used to be my best friend."

"Maybe they have a hard time coping their own problems?"

"It's easy, don't come to me when you need someone to talk to because I don't randomly call my old friends because their new ones do not want to hear their never ending stories. Sometimes, it's easier not to give a single fuck and move on with my own life"

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

50 Random Things About Me

  1. I hate when people touch my food without asking me first.
  2. I don't carry tissues everywhere. I know majority of girls bring tissues with them but I am in that minority group. 
  3. I am not very organized but when I do, I get a bit obsessive compulsive disorder about it.
  4. I am majoring in Software Engineering but I have no plans in pursuing programming.
  5. I am lazy.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Habit of not being able to let go.

Fuck growing up.

I miss being in high school. Where you can meet your friends whenever you want. When you have lunch with the same people everyday and see them the next day.

I do not know how to let go when it comes to the memories of me and my friends. To see how some of us have drifted from each other and living their own lives, kills me. I am happy for them but I can't help it. I miss everyone so much.

Tuesday, April 09, 2013


"Do you miss having a family?"

"I do but I try not think about it."

"Do you ever just sit down and cry about it?"

"Yes but I don't do it anymore"

"Why not? It's broken right?"

"Okay what's your definition of a perfect family?"

"Everyone living under the same roof and love each other. No offence, but your family lives in three different houses"

"What's the point of having everyone living under the same roof if they are going to keep fighting and arguing every now and then? My definition of family is different than yours. My father does not live with me but he knows dearly how much I love him. My siblings don't live with me but they come to my house often."

"But how can you be happy with this?"

"By being grateful"

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Of cheating and being cheated on.

I am not sure if some of you have experienced being cheated on.. If you have, join the club and if you haven't, I pray to god you won't have to experience that because it sucks balls and you can or might feel insecure about everything after that.

Question: If your partner cheats on you, who would you 'attack' first; your partner or the third person?

I realized most answers would be the third person.

Another question: Why?

You should talk to your partner first because for all you know, that third person maybe was not informed about your partner's status. That third person might not know about your partner's relationship status but your partner sure as hell knows about his/hers.

And girls, if there are girls who are flirting with your boyfriend. Please don't say boys are being boys by 'entertaining' those girls. That's just like "Hey boyfriend, you can 'talk' to those girls because that's what boys do". No. Don't give excuses for your boyfriend. 

Unless if you have a proof that your partner did not spark any fireworks and that third person has no boundary with your partner, then you should go have that talk with the third person. Other than that, ask your partner to set some boundaries. 

Because it takes two to tango.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

In the mourning

I am not too sure who still reads this blog but something about last night has made me realize one thing.

When it comes to life, you should always build bridges instead of walls.

If you ever feel alone, I want you to know that there are always someone out there to hear you out. Don't shut people out. Go out, have fun. Pick up your phone and call your friends. There is always someone out there. It does not matter if it's 3AM, there's always someone out there.

Feeling alone, feeling like no one is there for you can be the most depressing thing in the world.

You can even talk to me if you want to.